You might be a redneck if...
1) You think a family reunion is a good place to meet chicks.
2) You don`t need a clean shirt to go to work.
3) You favorite Mexican food is Doritos.
4) The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
5) You were shooting pool when your children were born.
6) You remember where you were when J.R. was shot.
7) Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."
8) Your wife has ever said,"Move this transmission so I can take a bath."
9) Your wife`s best shoes have steel toes.
10) You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
11) You`re asked for I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.
12) You clean your fingernails with a stick.
13) You've ever hit a deer with your car, on purpose.
14) Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
15) You keep a can of "OFF" on your kitchen table.
16) You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
17) Your standard of living improves when you go camping.
18) There has ever been crime-scene tape on your out house door.
19) You ever got too drunk to fish.
20) You consider the sixth grade your senior year.
21) Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."
22) The cutains in your van are nicer than the ones in your kitchen.
23) You`ve pawned your car to settle a bar tab.
24) The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
25) Your lifetime goal is to own a bait stand.
26) You`ve ever been hunting on a tractor.
27) You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
28) You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.
29) You've ever financed a tattoo.
30) You`ve been hospitalized after a chile cook-off.
31) The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a foot.
32) Your teeth are greener than your grass
33) You've ever bought used underwear.
34) You've ever been in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
35) You're considered an expert on worm beds.
36) You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
37) Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.
38) Bugs Bunny cartoons made you hungry for rabbit.
39) You learned to drive in a monster truck.
40) Your toupee was made by a taxidermist.
41) You spit chewing tobacco in the plants.
42) Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.
43) You believe books are bad luck.
44) You believe all-star wrestling should be an Olympic sport.
45) You believe all-star wrestling is real.
46) You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.
47) You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur.
48) You like to brag about learning to fire a shotgun before you could walk.
49) Rather than drinking the wine at church you "bring your own".
50) You keep shouting at the church choir "Sing Freebird".
51) Motel 6 turns off the lights when you drive up.
52) Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
53) You find your wifes beer belly attractive.
54) Hitch hikers won`t get in the car with you.
55) You call your wife your better half because she better have dinner on the table.
Thank You Jeff Foxworthy.